


Getting You Off Is My New Favorite Hobby

by misslucyjane



Series: Sinnerman [1]
Category: Constantine (TV), Lucifer (TV)
Genre: 50 reasons to have sex, Anal Sex, Bisexual John Constantine, Bisexual Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Bottoming from the Top, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Established Relationship, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Soft sex, Talking, canon mashup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:07:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26089903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misslucyjane/pseuds/misslucyjane
Summary: When Lucifer Morningstar, the King of Hell and the Devil Himself, can't sleep, he turns to a sure cure.John Constantine isn't sure how he feels about being that cure.
Relationships: John Constantine/Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Series: Sinnerman [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894249
Comments: 16
Kudos: 168
Collections: 50 reasons to have sex





	Getting You Off Is My New Favorite Hobby

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by 50 reasons to have sex #1: You can't sleep.
> 
> I've been binging Lucifer the Series for the last few weeks, and abruptly realized that I really like my troubled magical English (or Welsh, as the case may be) boys. Hence, I want to write a few PWPs to let them enjoy each other. Not at all canon-compliant, just me (and them) having fun.

"Constantine. Constantine. John Constantine. John. Johnny Boy, wakey wakey."

There's someone in his bedroom. Someone who clearly knows how to get past the wards. Someone who is far too annoying to be allowed to continue being in his bedroom.

"Constantine, wake up. I can't sleep. John Constantine. Wake up and keep me company. Constantine. _John._ "

John blinks awake in the dark. He can feel more than he can see Lucifer jittering at the end of his bed, pent-up energy ready to crack. It's not a dangerous mood, but it is one John wasn't prepared to deal with at this hour.

"Oh, good, you're wake," says Lucifer. "I was in Atlanta enjoying the flower of southern hospitality, and I thought I'd drop in on my old friend John Constantine--"

John huffs. " _Friend?_ " He snaps on the bare-bulb lamp beside his bed. 

Yes, there he is, Lucifer Morningstar in the flesh. He looks wild-eyed and a bit pale, but exquisitely dressed, and he's got a bottle of champagne in hand that's probably been his idea of a late supper.

John rubs his hand over his face in an effort to wake himself. "Since when does Lucifer Morningstar, the King of Hell, the Devil himself -- since when do you need to sleep?"

"Since I left hell behind me for greener, less-always-on-fire pastures." Lucifer puts down the bottle and it falls over to drip onto John's floor, and starts taking off his clothes. His suit probably cost more cash than John has in hand in a year. It's inevitable, John supposes with a slight sigh, and slides over to make room. "I don't fall asleep at your side as an affectation, Constantine. And I like dreaming. When they're good dreams, I like them _very_ much." He climbs into bed beside John, six feet three inches of sex and sin, the reason they say the Devil has a pleasing face. "It's been too long since I've had a good dream." He slithers down under the bedding.

John puts his hands on Lucifer's shoulders. "You can't sleep, so naturally you thought of me."

"Naturally." Lucifer's voice is muffled -- hands on John's waist, his nose snuffling in John's chest hair. John lifts his arms over his head to give Lucifer room to do as he likes. John enjoys it more often than not when Lucifer does as he likes. "I like the dreams I have when I'm asleep with you. They're so ... normal. It's such a strange kind of alternative life."

John parts his legs to let Lucifer lie between them. His body is waking up under Lucifer's touch -- heart beating more quickly, skin beginning to spark. "You're not bored of this life already."

Lucifer grins at John, glittering eyes and shiny, sharp teeth. "I'm never bored here. I love it here. But sometimes I like a little taste of strangeness. Don't you?"

"I live a life of strangeness," says John. "Sleep is a respite from all that, but I'd rather not dream. Too many bad ones. Sex clears my mind, even if it's only for a few minutes." 

"Sex is another form of respite, yes, that is my point," says Lucifer and pulls up a little skin with his teeth. It makes John's legs shiver. "Have I ever mentioned how glad I am that you rarely wear pants?"

"Only every time we fuck."

"That very number has proven to me that when Lucifer Morningstar, the King of Hell, the Devil himself, needs assistance of a most personal nature, John Constantine is the man to rely on." He does something with his tongue that makes John's breath shudder and his fingers dig into Lucifer's shoulders.

"Hm." Half an "I see" and half a "Do that again." 

"So you understand why I'm here," Lucifer says when he's done doing it again.

"Have you tried alcohol?"

"Copious volumes."

"Drugs?"

Lucifer looks at John like he can't believe John could be such a simpleton.

"Of course you've tried drugs." John gives him a tug by the ears, which earns another glowering look. "Come here, Morningstar. Don't start with a blowjob."

"You're turning down one of my blowjobs?" Despite Lucifer's surprise, he crawls up John's body. "You actually want to kiss me first?"

"Yes, and we'll -- oh," he says as Lucifer kisses him. Well, that's good, anyway. Kisses are a good way to wake each other up. 

They are not normally gentle with each other, Lucifer Morningstar and John Constantine, but tonight Lucifer is weary and John is still half-asleep. Lucifer lets John move them so they are pressed together and neither fully bear the other's weight. They kiss slowly, lingering, deep. John discovers that Lucifer's hair is soft and curls a little when John combs it with his fingers, and that he can feel it against his lips when Lucifer smiles. 

In their previous encounters, John never tried to take control with Lucifer -- it seemed pointless when Lucifer could overpower him so easily and deep down, John had no objection to relinquishing control to him -- but he tries now, and Lucifer turns easily onto his back, his arms staying around John's neck and his legs looping over John's hips. John fits one of his thighs between Lucifer's, which causes Lucifer to arch and makes a quiet sound. He blinks slowly, watching John through long and thick lashes, and lets John gaze into his dark and mysterious eyes.

"Sometimes I forget how pretty you are," John remarks and kisses him, then once more for good measure.

"You should never forget that." Lucifer stretches under him, arms over his head and toes curling. "How pretty am I?"

"Too pretty," John says, "it's rather sickening, really," and he kisses Lucifer's chest as Lucifer's chuckle rumbles through him. 

John takes his time. Their previous trysts have not allowed for him to explore, so now he does to his heart's content. Broad shoulders and a strong chest, a slim waist, perfect ass, and those _legs_ , Christ, they go on for _years_. 

Lucifer lets John learn his body, purring a little when John finds a particularly sensitive spot. He whispers, "It's been a long time since someone's just coddled me."

John lifts his head. "Should I stop?" 

"Don't you dare," Lucifer orders. "I'm enjoying this." He touches John's leg with his foot. "The Master of the Dark Arts, John Constantine himself, treating me like lovers do. No one would believe it."

"I really should get that changed," John says, but it doesn't matter right now. The deep kisses, the slow caresses, they've done their job, and Lucifer's legendary cock is flushed and rising, ready for whatever John does next.

It makes his head swim, having this powerful, dangerous being -- the most beautiful of the angels, the most terrifying of the demons -- so willing to let John do as he pleases, when at any moment Lucifer could twist John into any position he likes and ride John until Lucifer had wrung every last ounce of pleasure from John's body. 

John can't think. He can't do anything but stare into those dark eyes. He should be on his guard at all times around Lucifer but those _eyes_ \--

Lucifer breaks the spell with one of his wide, cheeky smiles. "Bored, Constantine?"

"Never," John says and searches between the mattress and box springs for a condom. He's got one, and shows it to Lucifer before tearing it open. 

"Really?" Lucifer says. "This is sex between friends."

"I don't know where you've been," John points out. "Or rather, I _do_ know where you've been, and I know where _I've_ been, and between the two of us you'll thank me later." 

"Celestial," Lucifer replies, pointing to himself, but his hands fall away as John rolls the condom onto his shaft. He breathes, "All right, fine, you win," as John raises himself onto his knees, and, "We're adding this to the repertoire," in a tighter, breathier voice as John sinks down onto him.

"We have a repertoire?" John gasps, smiling. 

"We do." His hips roll, making John moan every time his thrusts deepen. "I'm adding 'take it slow once in a while.'"

"Oh, thank fuck," John says as mildly as he can. He places his hands on Lucifer's chest and he takes it agonizingly, teasingly, mercilessly, _slow_.

It makes sense, as far as anything about Lucifer makes sense, that Lucifer would need to sleep the same way he eats and drinks. It even makes sense that Lucifer has the same responses to sex as an ordinary man, flushed chest and bright eyes and clenched muscles, and sometimes an orgasm is all a bloke needs to drop off into slumberland. 

John Constantine is not the most generous of souls at the best of times, but what the hell, this is Lucifer and John feels expansive. He bends over Lucifer and kisses him, and then straightens up to ride him hard. It's not bad for him, either, feeling the emptiness within himself being filled by Lucifer's thrusting hips.

He's rewarded with Lucifer's hands on his body and Lucifer's moans, which are almost as musical as his singing voice. It's enough to make John wish he had a piano so Lucifer can sing to him later. 

John does not examine why he'd like Lucifer to sing to him later.

Gazing into Lucifer's eyes is usually a dangerous thing for even the strongest-willed mortals, but not tonight. John doesn't know if it's Lucifer's weariness or his overall mood or if he just isn't _on_ tonight, but gazing into his eyes is just ... gazing into his eyes.

John shakes his head and closes his eyes, and then feels Lucifer's hand in his hair. He pulls down John's head. He doesn't speak, but he kisses John's ear before letting him go.

It's as good as a shout. It makes John shudder from head to foot, even though Lucifer has touched him only with a graze of his lips and an exhale of breath. John leans over Lucifer, one hand on the mattress to steady himself, and moves his body but keeps their gazes together. Lucifer's fingers dig into John's waist. His eyes are open wide.

Normally John doesn't watch. But it's Lucifer. He makes everything different.

When it's all said and done, John flops down on his back, gasping for breath. He's sticky and sweaty and his muscles ache, but he feels so good none of that matters. His mind is pleasantly hazy, and even Lucifer's post-coital presence is much less annoying than usual.

Lucifer exhales next to him, once more stretching out his limbs. "I liked that," he says. "Letting you do all the work! Brilliant. Also adding that to the repertoire." 

"Bold of you," John remarks, "assuming we're going to do this again."

"Bold of _you_ , pretending we won't." He nudges John's shoulder with his. "You could come to _me_ sometimes."

"Tch. I hate Los Angeles."

Lucifer laughs. "Snob."

"Take that back, you posh git." He's too sated to put any heat into it, and they grin at each other.

A moment passes, then Lucifer squeezes John's thigh. "If you have another condom, find it."

"Sir, yes, sir," John says, and snaps him a salute. He gets out of bed and goes into the loo to get rid of the used condom, look for another -- he has a few more, they're in for a hell of a night -- and wash up a little. Even in the stained and aged mirror, it's amusing to see how less haggard he looks. He should thank Lucifer for the facelift.

Back in John's bedroom, Lucifer lies on his stomach, one arm dangling off the bed. The sheets are pushed away, the better to display his perfect body. "Fuck me but you're gorgeous," John says, but there's no responding crack.

Fine, then. John gets back in bed and drapes himself over Lucifer's side. 

"I know you're not a man for pillow talk, Morningstar," he says, "but I have to say, I'm glad you came tonight. It's good to have the Devil on your side, especially when you have hundreds of demons at your back. Not that I think--"

He hears a soft buzzing sound. He leans over Lucifer to see that his face is mashed into the pillow, his mouth is open, and his eyes are closed.

Lucifer Morningstar, the King of Hell, the Devil himself ... snores.

John smiles to himself. "Morningstar, you bastard," he says fondly and reaches over Lucifer for his cigarettes.

End.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Like Lovers Do" by Hey Violet


End file.
